We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
