12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
