Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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