I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
