he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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