Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
