what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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