I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
