break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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