just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
