i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
