I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I deserve this hangover.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
