I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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