...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
