there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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