I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
