I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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