yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
being pregnant is like rehab
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
