One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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