There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
