She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
