I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize