craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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