He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
