D3 body, D1 cock
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
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