hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
