i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
