What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize