Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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