Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
