Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
