Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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