my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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