I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
