All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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