i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize