maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
