I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
