last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i wish my penis had a tongue
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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