Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize