Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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