He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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