Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Randomize
