I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
