the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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