Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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