I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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