I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
