so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
