Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
