Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
