also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
