i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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