Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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