That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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