batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
