I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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