ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize