If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
