I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
