so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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