Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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