Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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